In truth, I’m not entirely sure what else to say about this match. I don’t want to speak for Joseph, but we’re half way through our docket of Triple H matches, and while it’s been fun to confirm for myself what I’ve always known about him (he sucks but looks good in denim), I can’t help but admit that it hasn’t exactly helped my depressed outlook on the great sport of professional wrestling in 2023.
While I was writing my piece for the week, I kept writing, then walking back, declarative statements about the general vibe around the Hell in a Cell match between Triple H and Shawn Michaels, as my belief that it is roundly disliked isn’t reflected in metrics like Dave Meltzer’s star ratings (which are, if nothing else, a snapshot of the man’s take on the scene as it stood at the time) or Cagematch, both of which I bring up in the beginning of this discussion. It’s like I know that people hate this match, the wrestlers who constructed it, and the theory of wrestling it sets out to prove, but I kept running into the fact that there is a not inconsiderable audience for this kind of thing, and it’s honestly kind of frustrating!
It’s not because I’m some kind of weird hater who is incapable of letting people enjoy the things they like — I am an ancient crone of 35 and do not have that dog in me anymore — but because it’s a demonstrably terrible way to portray in-ring hate, that has, through force of will, become an ur-text of main event wrestling in the United States. It’s a depiction of hatred by two men who don’t just love each other, but love the idea of their mutual genius. It feels fake, and yet it persists. As fun as it’s been to bust on the man, watching Triple H this closely has been depressing because it’s paying witness to a kind of cynicism that has rarely been so thoroughly rewarded in the wrestling industry. At least with someone like Hulk Hogan I can remember what it was like to be a child and feel awe — I can’t even tell who Triple H and Shawn Michaels’ deal is meant for, but it’s 2023 and for the third time in my life I can trace no small part of my total dissatisfaction with American wrestling to them, so actually watching them go through the motions was a lot!
This isn’t really a space for me to further refine or push my arguments, so I’ll stop, except to say that I am absolutely dreading rewatching Triple H vs. CM Punk this week, as the man sets out to defend whatever this embodies against actual taste (whatever you may think of it). I expect my pain to be exquisite.
Up Next: Next time on BIG EGG, Triple H locks his sights on the hottest act of the early 2010s in WWE: CM Punk. It's one of the few in-ring interactions for one of the most fraught and rollercoaster relationships in modern pro wrestling history.
Colette Arrand
So. We both hated this match, but am surprised by how highly Meltzer and Cagematch rate it. I don’t put a lot of stock into either entities when it comes to criticism, but I am legit confused about how people could like the match. Do you have an explanation? Why do some people like this?
Joseph Montecillo
It is not actively awful for most of it. Triple H working the back is decent, Shawn's trying real hard with the selling, the blood is cool. Too much of it works and it's not like actively offensive til that last five minute stretch, so I think that's probably why.
Colette Arrand
People just having a nice enough time, meanwhile we’re in 2023, twenty years removed from when they tried to sell this as the greatest feud of all time. They do this kind of thing regularly enough — the Edge vs. Orton match billed in advance as the greatest wrestling match of all time), and it never works because they always have this insane idea that curdles the outcome of the match, even if just a little. They really manage to knock it out of the park here. I thought your piece did an exceptional job of exploring that.
Joseph Montecillo
It is dull and boring how they execute that finish but it's even worse how at some points it fucking works for them too! The fans are actively cheering Shawn on at one point while they're both just LYING there.
Colette Arrand
That was egregious. Both of us razzing on it felt like the reason you and I decided to do this. Like, I think we both came here thinking that Hunter has been a net negative for wrestling, at least when it comes to in-ring product. It’s really funny, there’s that one Triple H clip where he tells Goldberg that he’s a media creation, and it feels like Triple H’s skill is the same thing — they swore up and down for years that he was the best, and for a lot of people that came true. He and Shawn really love hanging a limp arm over someone’s chest. What an insane quirk.
Joseph Montecillo
With all this time separated from it, you can tell why they like it so much. This idea that they've put themselves through hell, given everything they have, when really it's just hollow melodrama. Sometimes I wonder if that's more Shawn than Hunter, but they're two brains that actively make each other worse.
Colette Arrand
I’m trying to figure out which one is responsible and now I want to know who you think the better actor is, Shawn or Hunter?
Joseph Montecillo
Oh Jesus.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to BIG EGG to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.